Heartbeat
by OddObsessed
Summary: 2D/Noodle. Sort of. Possible 2D/Android Noodle. Set after the android version of her was created. "Sometimes it's too easy to let my imagination get the better of me, and tell me that I can feel a heart beating under that fake skin."


I can't grasp the idea that she's dead. I like to think that she got away. Murdoc claims that all he found was _traces _of her blood and hair, which is what he used to create this clone. So if that's all that's left, what happened to the rest of her body?

I like to think that she got away. I like to think that she's alive. I _want _her to be alive.

The clone isn't her. He thinks we can replace her, but we can't. This android doesn't have her exact memories. It doesn't have her thoughts. It's a bunch of circuits designed to act like her.

When you touch the android, there's no warmth. There's no blood under her humanoid fingertips. There's no air in her lungs and there's no heart beating in her chest. Nothing this fake could ever pass for a human.

And nothing could ever replace Noodle. No matter how similar.

It's hard to comprehend that I may never see her again. The android acts as a body guard to Murdoc. It's programmed to do his bidding.

I can't stand it. But at the same time, I still worry over the stupid thing. When I saw one of the prototypes getting shot up in the back of Murdoc's car, I couldn't help but panic for a brief second, as if it really was Noodle there.

You only have to stare for a second too long, before you realize how fake that thing is. I only had to take a couple of glances before that horrible emptiness set in again. As sad as it sounds, there really does seem to be a hole in my gut. And it hurts much more than anything Murdoc has ever done to me.

The android sometimes tries to comfort me. It'll wrap it's cold, unfeeling arms around me and tell me it's all alright. But how can everything be alright when all that's left of _her_ is an empty shell? That android is as soulless as the zombies on my television. And it'll try to act like her, but it always fails.

It's hard to think that maybe I won't feel her warm arms around me. Maybe this metal copy is all I have left. Sometimes, it's too easy to fall into it's embrace and pretend that the words it says are real. Sometimes, it's too easy to let my imagination get the better of me and tell me that I _can _feel a heart beating under that fake skin.  
And every time I snap out of this sick, twisted place in my mind, I feel hollow. I only have to believe that thing is really her for a split second before start to hate myself. How can I make believe something like that is real? Because it's not real. And it hurts. It hurts because after pulling away for the hundredth time, I know I'm going to return to that _thing _again. And I know that after each time I'll just feel more and more upset. I _know _that it'll eventually kill me. Each time I succumb to this non-living copy, a piece of me dies. Slowly. Painfully. I can feel each piece of me dropping away. How long until there's nothing left? How long before I can't take this?

The android will cry it's fake tears for me and try to show me how to be happy again. But it'll never work. It's tears are nothing like mine. It won't hurt it's little metal body to cry. I'll sob and gasp until my entire body jolts with each breath I take. And that thing will come and cry it's petite little droplets of water and say it understands. A robot? _Understanding_?

The lies a impossible to believe. But sometimes, it's all I've got to hold onto.

And I know… I know it's going to tear me a part. I know that inside I'm bleeding deeply. But is there anything I can do?

Of course not. So I just sit and let myself sink deeper into this. I try to hold onto this replica and let myself drown with it.

Until she returns home to me, it's all I'm able to do.

...

The android doesn't have the same shine in it's eyes as she did.

* * *

**This is short. And not very great, but I _had _to write it. Honestly, I hate the idea of an 'android' Noodle. I really do. And I have a feeling that 2D would, as well. If you watch the music video for 'Stylo', when Android-Noodle get's shot, 2D glances at it for a few seconds. I don't know how to interpret the look he gives it, but it doesn't look like a very pleased one.**

**I feel like they shot down something good when they decided that Noodle wasn't actually in Hades at all... The whole message about the 'demon boy' and all sounded extremely exciting. And now they're saying "oh, hang on, that never really happened. Noodle really did die/go missing at the end of El Manana and hasn't come back."**

**I'm good now. I really needed to vent about this. Gah. xD**


End file.
